He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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