A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
