I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
