Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
