watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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