Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize