i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
