I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
