i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
