Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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