i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
