guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
