She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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