i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
