I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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