why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
