He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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