Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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