Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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