Sponge bath it is.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
