Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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