I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
