I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
