Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
