you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
