the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
