It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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