How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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