I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
