Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
