Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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