Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
