girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
