how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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