you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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