i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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