1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
