I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize