i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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