i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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