Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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