He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
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That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
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I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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