we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize