I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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