Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish i was in the wii world.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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