She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
