dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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