I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Randomize
