only if we run a train.
done.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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