Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
