Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
