Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
