The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
