Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
