"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
