piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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