Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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