please come you make the beer taste better
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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