if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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