The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize